Category Archives: stress

costumes, halloween, huricane, kid's reactions to stress, Sandy, stress

Sandy, Thank You For Not Staying

2 Comments

We all deal with stress very differently.  Some people shut down and retreat within the walls of their minds while others seek solace in the company of friends, family or even strangers.  I’ve also seen those who seek to project power over the sources of their stress as if acting in control will force a positive outcome. 

I guess I am more of the do what can be done then wait the storm out whether it’s an illness, a job problem, or an actual storm.  This past week, it was Sandy, a massive hurricane.  We thought it might hit us for 4 days before it did.  With each day passing, the likelihood grew, until it came to dominate the news for a solid week.  It was in the news so much beforehand, people rushed to the stores to buy life’s little needs and were able to return in subsequent days to get everything they forgot.  I don’t remember a storm with as much lead time to prepare.
My kids lost it for a few nights beforehand as they picked up on some of the local worries. With two kids already on anti-anxiety meds, it doesn’t take much. Every night and every morning, the little bit of control they usually struggle to maintain was missing. The slightest hint of tired was too much for them.  It made for a few nights of yelling to get them to settle down. The night of the storm, they slept in the room with us in sleeping bags, and they slept deeply enough to not wake during the harshest winds of the night. The first day was all rain with winds

After the storm, slowly the nights are getting marginally better, and I’m hoping each night this week will bring us back closer to a livable norm. I can only imagine how little fun it would have been had we actually lost power or been in NJ. We were lucky in our little corner of MD.

The only damage we have is some water coming through a basement wall.  It pools on concrete before flowing back to the French drains to one of our 2 pumps out.  J was worried about mold in the insulation, but I’m not concerned.  I turned on the dehumidifier which outputs to a pump to dry out everything, marked with a pencil to see if the puddle grows or shrinks, and thanked the people we hired to water proof our basement.  As I said above, I aspire to the do what you can and stop worrying club.

Halloween was a hoot.  J made a great ninja turtle costume for O, and A went as Minnie Mouse.  K was a Care Bear, and while she wasn’t originally going to go trick or treating, she obviously had a blast.  There is some thing therapeutic about dressing up, pretending to be other than we are, especially when we transform ourselves into a happy fearless gang.  The timing of the celebration couldn’t have been better for our family…and there’s candy to boot!  

I want to give a special thanks to all those who have viewed this blog.  I never thought it would generate 5,000 hits averaging more than 2 min per hit.  It’s humbling to think how much time people have spent reading this blog. 

Share
fail, life with MS, Multiple Sclerosis, pain, running, stress

Why run?

Why run?  I can write about reasons to write, but why run?
I write about it because I like running.  It’s a throw back to something I was once good at.  When I threw away my trophies from childhood, I did so because I was tired of hauling them from apartment to apartment.  I remember looking at them as I put them in the garbage bin and being surprised because after more than 15 years of soccer and 5 years of basketball, I had more trophies for running than any other activity despite never formally being a part of a running team.  I raced when I could.  I remember running a few home cross country meets before soccer practice with Coach Mike thinking it was a fine thing for conditioning even if it mean being 15 min late for practice. 
 
So here I am now unable to play soccer or basketball well at all.  The coordination just isn’t there to play well.  Still, I can run which wasn’t always the case during the time I’ve had MS.  Early on, the only exercise I did was the rowing machine because when I fell it was only 6 inches.  However, now I can run, and I’ve even managed to cut my time down on 5k runs from just fewer than 11 minutes per mile to fewer than 8.5 min per mile.  But what do I get out of it?
I get to play a game, “run from the effects of my MS.”  Is it a wonder I fell and hit my head on the side walk training for the 15k?  Seems fitting.  On days where that particular game is lost, OK it’s time for a different one, “chase the shape I want to be” or “chase the shape my wife wishes I had.”
I’m not being honest if I claim those are the reasons.  I actually run because I can (same reason I had as a teen), because I don’t know how long I will be able to run, and finally because it feels less bad than not running.  It takes about 2 miles, but after that my calves no longer feel as tight as before the run when they hurt to walk.  Somewhere around mile 2.5 or 3, my hands stop hurting.  It’s usually right around there when my mind stops racing from place to place and goal to goal, and I can find a sort of peace with my body.  I run for those moments of clarity when I really do feel I’ve won the race with my MS if only for the moment. 
On days after finding out my resume didn’t merit an interview, I run from the let down.  Runners high to the rescue!  It’s my emotional safety net or emotional crutch.  Unlike choosing to follow the advice on how to submit my resume, I know there is no wrong way on a run whose sole aim is to reach exhaustion.  Sometimes what I need most is an activity where I can’t fail so long as I make an attempt.  
Share