Category Archives: happy life

A Screwdriver in a World of Nails

Cloudy or not, life's views are often still beautiful.
Cloudy or not, life’s views are often still beautiful.

There is a saying, “If your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.”  That’s a fine saying. For even a screw can pass for a nail, if one is willing and able to put in the extra effort to pound away. But what if one’s only tool is a screw driver?

As I look back on the week, I see many things which turned out well, but seemed so much harder than they should have been.  I find myself more and more having to throw effort and elbow grease at problems until they yield.  The thing is, I am not using a hammer to pound away at screws.  I’m using the handle of a screw driver as if it is a mallet, all the while ignoring the cracks and dents each nail imparts upon the handle.

Have you ever felt like you could solve problems only to find more and more problems for which you are not ideally prepared?  That has been my feeling all week long from having the wrong screws to rebuild a broken swing set to securing a computer at Miami airport only to find it could not load Adobe Connect.  I was able to solve both problems, but each took more time and effort while making me feel foolish for not anticipating the problem until it needed solving immediately.

This whole week has been exhausting and rewarding.  My work published our fourth publication of this cycle.  I went to St. Thomas and met with the Governor, and on the way back, I stopped in Miami airport to use the Ambassador’s club to participate in a webinar for the American Board of Internal Medicine.  To top it all off, I came home to family happy to see me.

I’m tired, but I still feel relevant, less isolated and more importantly, appreciated.  For a guy with a fairly aggressive MS, it reminds me how I should define my luck to appreciate what I still have. It has been a good week to remind me to use other tools as needed, and not to panic if the first tool grabbed does not work.

Not every problem is a screw.

I love talking with data driven politicians.  This week, I was lucky enough to spend time with John de Jongh, Jr., the governor of the U.S. Virgin Islands.
I love talking with data driven politicians. This week, I was lucky enough to spend time with John de Jongh, Jr., the governor of the U.S. Virgin Islands.
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The First 3,652 Days of Marriage (10 Wonderful Years)

Many years ago, in a time unlike today, I began a lucky streak, unbroken to this day.
Many years ago, in a time unlike today, I began a lucky streak, unbroken to this day.

This week, J and I will hit a milestone, our tenth anniversary.   After 3,652 days of marriage, I can still claim to be the lucky one.  I married an awesome woman, a great mom, a good cook, a caring nurse and  my friend.  I managed all of this without running afoul of polygamy laws too. I think about all of this in light of research showing MS patients are 40% more likely to divorce than the general public (already grim odds), and like in so many other topics, I am happy our family embodies the role of the exception.

Every year, I include on an anniversary card my favorite saying, though I know not where it originates,

“Come walk with me.

Stay and grow old with me.

The Best is yet to be.

This I believe.”

I think the reason I have always liked the saying is the way it makes sense in so many orders. In my head, the order is frequently swapped to the point where I don’t even know the “correct” order any more. The only current tense relates to a belief in the bright future.  The future in any order speaks to a vision of a wonderful shared journey.  What more could I ever want than someone with whom to share the good life?

Because it’s our ten year anniversary, I’m happy to be able to bring out my other favorite verse to describe the way I would wish to think about our last 3,652 days and my hopes for tomorrow and all of tomorrows’ tomorrow: .

Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself. will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

      Walt Whitman (end of Song of the Open Road)

Sometimes, the best part of a shared journey is the feeling of having helped those whom we love and admire. K (age 3) pushed A (age 8) up the hill.
Sometimes, the best part of a shared journey is the feeling of having helped those whom we love and admire. K (age 3) pushed A (age 8) up the hill.
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