“We’ve bought into the idea that education is about training and “success”, defined monetarily, rather than learning to think critically and to challenge. We should not forget that the true purpose of education is to make minds, not careers. A culture that does not grasp the vital interplay between morality and power, which mistakes management techniques for wisdom, which fails to understand that the measure of a civilization is its compassion, not its speed or ability to consume, condemns itself to death.” ― Chris Hedges, Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the Triumph of Spectacle
It is such an easy thing to forget. For what do we strive? Even for those who say “the all mighty dollar,” is it the money or the things we will (not might) do with it? I’d hate to waste my life for a sheet of paper. Writ large for our society, the same remains true. What is to be the use of being the strongest wealthiest people/country in history?
On another more local note, our family continues without sleep…night after night. For the past 2 nights my kids have added to the mix and peed themselves, and I am somewhat at a loss. They both get up in the night to play even when they start in different rooms. This morning I realized how tired I was last night when I got up and stepped on a matchbox car which A had lined up along the floor with a couple dozen other cars and trucks. As I looked around, I saw her shirtless, asleep at the foot of the bed.
Thinking about it afterwards, I wonder if she takes comfort in lining up the cars as it is something in her life which she has power to make orderly. Her mind is very grounded in concrete truths. In a chaotic life of varying degrees of abstract truths where she assimilates more change at an ever more rapid pace, perhaps the lining up of cars is her minds way of asserting enough control to allow for rest. She has brought order to that corner of her life. I used to wonder why she always made her cars sit in traffic jams moving each of them 1 inch forward at a time instead of racing around like I see most kids play. I hate traffic, but then I never considered how the slow motion might be calming.
I, of course, slept through everything. That’s my mind’s way when the days grow ever longer, and respite from confusion and pain seems further away. Time in a loving wife’s embrace seems such a distant goal. Still, even on a morning where I hurt from lack of rest, I take great solace that my time and effort is spent on something more valuable than paper. As someone to whom much has been given, I hope I spend raising the value of our family’s culture, and through them our society as a whole may gain. What more should we ask?
From those to whom much has been given, much is expected.
I often look at my life and think there is no way I can ever do enough to deserve the life I live. I live in one of the richest countries ever to exist. I get to live a relatively well-off life even by the luxurious standards of the U.S. I work in a job I like. I come home to a single family house where my beautiful wife and 2 kids live. Even with my MS, I am afforded access to good care and treatments.
As I look at all of this, I am left thinking deserve can have little to do with it. Regardless of whether one believes everything good in their life is earned; I think one still needs to look at why we have it. Whether we make minimum wage or $100k a year, I think the key question is what we are going to do with it. Money is only worth what it buys whether it’s a new luxury car or a Thanksgiving dinner for a family in need. I feel the same way about my time. It is only worth what I do with it.
I was asked this week, why we would take in a kid and stick with her through 30+ days in the hospital. “Aren’t you two tired? How do you find time for each other?” I had to return the questions because I have a hard time believing my answer is so different:
“If you were told you would be too tired to have relations with your spouse for a month, but you could save the life of a little girl who is depending on you, would you do it? Could you chose to ignore a little blind girl, and would you enjoy the other activities as much knowing your indulgence was hurting a little girl? In effect, what choice have we made that is so out of the ordinary?”
The answer he gave me surprised me. “You put yourself in a position to know the little girl, and you did so after already taking in 2 lovely but challenging kids. Most of us don’t see the little girl so we don’t see the opportunity costs.” I wish this wasn’t so true. I believe we all, as people in the richest country ever, should have more awareness, especially of those in need in our own country. How can we be so blind to the incredible wealth at our disposal? As we see the occupy wall street talk about the 99%, I find myself agreeing with much of what they say while wondering if on a global scale many of those marching aren’t already in the 1% (exaggerated, but in the top 25%? Top 10%). At some point I hope more of us recognize all there is for which we ought to be thankful.
I do think there is some irony of fate in the question of my coworker. The Headmaster at my high school told me my senior year I would be a great monk or priest if I was ever inclined. I laughed and said I was unsure of my faith, and more importantly, I liked sex. Now I long for a time when my wife and I have enough time and energy, but never so much as to make me ignore the good accomplishments of our time and energy.
Men plan. Fates mock. I only hope to someday have the wisdom and patience to find and enjoy the humor. If I never do enough to “earn” the chances I’ve been given, I hope I do at least enough to…
