Category Archives: Child care

MD Adoption Rates Continued…

Given the data from my last post, I guess one should expect the number of adoptions in MD to shrink.  It’s just I would never have expected the numbers to be so dire. Seven hundred seventy-three children were adopted in 2009 from out of home placements.  In the last twelve months, only  three hundred fifty such children have been adopted in MD.  In just a five-year span, we have cut our adoption rate by fifty-five percent.  Note, this five-year span is after the economic collapse in 2008 which never hit MD as hard as other states thanks in large part to the number of federally employed residents.  So what is our excuse?

Well, maybe five years is simply a bad point in time from which to start.  Maybe it is the outlier for what ever reason be it recession putting more kids in care or the general feeling of needing to take care of kids in hard times of war/military deployments and monetary crunching.  We should save the kids in such times right?

Maybe that good will fades some with better economic times, and we should look at 2011.  This would be right before the MD legislature passed legislation to reduce the amount of money foster parents would receive if they adopt.  Keep in mind foster parents adopt roughly 60 percent of the foster kids lucky enough to be adopted.  In 2011, five hundred forty-two kids were adopted by families in MD.  Still, that would mean we are adopting thirty-five percent fewer children now than we did just three years ago.  (All of the data above can be found at Maryland Department of Human Resources)

I suspect a simple truth for why we are adopting fewer children is the new laws or MD interpretation of federal laws has made it harder for families who foster to adopt multiple children.  The real question is why?  If the goal is to save money, the state did manage to save 2.8% of what it was paying for foster care services, but the cost was drastically reducing the adoption rate.  My guess is these savings are short-term as well because with less kids adopted, the state continues to incur administrative costs for more kids in foster care from increased case loads for social workers to increased legal fees to …  One might even note the costs are already projected to rise for the next fiscal year.

Data from SUMMARY OF OPERATING BUDGET APPROPRIATIONS for each of the years listed on the chart.
Data from SUMMARY OF OPERATING BUDGET APPROPRIATIONS for each of the years listed on the chart.

Maybe the real reason for the change in interpretation was simply a mistaken belief the state could save money by making sure nobody raised adopted children as a profession.  To my mind, this raises the question,  “Is raising children in a loving home a terrible profession?”  It certainly does not pay well as I have mentioned to my wife many times.  After all, we could both work at the golden arches for more  per hour than we make taking care of a medically fragile child, and that is at a foster care rate.

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When Logic Fails

The mind is a mystery, and sometimes it is really scary.
The mind is a mystery, and sometimes, it is really scary.

Have you ever disagreed with someone and it seems as though all logic fails to convince them the errors of their ways? Unbelievably, I am not writing about a political issue even if the logic may be the same. As we deal with A’s stomach and her growing phobias, there are times we have to take a step back from our position of frustrated parents. I am sure I have frustrated many friends and teachers through the years when I have failed to grasp their reasoning, but I wonder if I am as untouched by the logic of the learned as my daughter has shown herself to be recently.

Dealing with an 8 year old who cannot eat in a restaurant because there is a fly is annoying. Having her reduced to huddling against me for safety from the fly or crying out in fear would be somewhat comical to watch from afar. We tried everything we could think of as we pointed out how big she was compared to the fly, how the horse she had just ridden was able to shake them off, and finally how little of her food the one fly was likely to eat. It did not matter as all of these arguments are adult logic.  The dinner was a wash for her.

Then we went home and a fly followed us into the house. As A screamed not wanting to go to the bathroom where the fly went, we thought we would go insane. I promised to squash it if it came after her. I reminded her of the books about “Buzz” the fly. Still, teeth brushing had to happen at another sink, away from where she saw the fly.

It was just a fly!

At some point, we came to realize we were arguing the wrong way. We were using logic as an adult might to solve a problem. Her problem is deeper and more pervasive. We were proposing a gentle salve on an emotional wound deeper than we know. She cannot stop picking her hands, and suddenly she cannot eat hot dogs with ketchup on the bun. Those are just two of the many recent changes. Why? Who knows, but the phobia and sudden intense dislikes are difficult to resolve. I wish I knew what those emotions meant to her. It is like an emotional logic I just do not understand, and she does not have the vocabulary to express it.

What does one do when one’s own logic fails to sooth the results of a kid’s thought process?

“Dear incomprehension, it’s thanks to you I’ll be myself, in the end.” – Samuel Beckett in The Unnamable

"I'm not saying I am Wonder Woman.  I'm just saying nobody has seen me and Wonder Woman in a room together."   Well, I'll say it, "You are my Wonder(ful) Woman."
“I’m not saying I am Wonder Woman. I’m just saying nobody has seen me and Wonder Woman in a room together.”
Well, I’ll say it, “J,You are my Wonder(ful) Woman.”
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