When Our New Normals Disappoint
COVID19 has certainly made us redefine our life styles. More and more, I become convinced nothing is going to change any time soon. I am convinced it will take a long time to develop a vaccine, prove it safe and effective, manufacture enough for all, and finally distribute it. So how do we make it OK? How do we make the months, important months with our kids, meaningful and instructive.
It is a little awkward for me as I think about how MS always leaves me wondering if I will be able to do tomorrow what I did today. For our older kids, they think about all they have lost and are losing. For a kid, their world exists within all of their social contacts. The world is what they experience and with whom they experience it. COVID 19 has drastically shrunk their world as social means with their brothers and sisters. So how do we make it OK? How do we expand their horizons andnot waste their time to grow? Did I mention the challenge of doing this without going crazy or dropping from exhaustion and stress? They want new experiences and are tired of the same things day after day. Then they get annoyed at new announcements of things they can no longer do. I get it.
For years, I lamented the things I could not do anymore with my MS. I could not play soccer, and for a while I couldn’t run. I could not even hold a bowl of oatmeal in the cafeteria without dropping it. I could not swallow without things getting stuck in my throat…The list goes ever on and on. I said to myself I did not ever want my family to understand. I thought the way they would best understand is to go through it, and why would I wish that on family. Now it seems we all get to live through some of the same uncertainty and loss of control over our losses. It sucks.
However, there is a lot to be gained too. I just don’t know how to make my kids understand it. More and more it becomes necessary to look around at what we still have and enjoy it. Then find new ways to enjoy those things we have always enjoyed. For example, I have always enjoyed going for walks, and now we as a family go for walks every day. Now walks that were about escape into the solitude of my mind have become family bonding and exercise for all of us, including the dogs.
We have a beautiful yard with a swing set and trampoline. I love watching all four kids on the trampoline together playing silly games. We have always done dinner as a family, but now we have it on the screened in porch every night. Frequently, we have desserts J makes with the kids. We have even played around with a fancy dinner night where we all dressed up.
As we continue through this time of uncertainty with schools opening remotely again, and uncertainty around how and when we will be able to visit with family and friends again, it seems the only way to find any peace is taking the time and put in the effort to enjoy our new normal. It is not how we imagine we want it to be. However, we are lucky we still have our home and our loved ones. We still have a lot.
It just takes stepping back, taking a breath, and looking at our situation. That is looking at our situation as it is, not as it was, or could have been. There is a lot of good…even if if it is not what we thought we needed to be happy.
It is time to stop griping and start living our new normal.
l.
