When we thought our family was complete, and we could take no more, we were approached about R. We were asked if we could take him because other foster families could not easily take in his halo for his broken neck. However, J looked at him as a challenge we could possibly meet where others shied away.
R was a challenge from the moment he came home. J had to keep tightening the screws in the halo and cleaning where it touched his scalp. This meant mind crumbling screaming twice a day inflicted by poor R. Still he came through it all. He has recovered from the ping pong fractured skull, the broken neck and the various other breaks. Now he is just a freak of nature able to do multiple pull-ups and having fantastic balance.
Eventually, the question of adoption came back up. I have said for a long time, “We only know what we can do when we fail. If you never fail, you probably could have done more.” When my wife and I talked about adopting R, I said I don’t want to be 80 looking back on my life , seeing the good we have done, and think, “but we could have done more.” With that said and a year into our life as an official family of six, I have to admit I see failure as a single misstep away, and it scares me. To this point, I think we have done all we could. I look at the tired haggard face in the mirror every night and think the circles and wrinkles well earned.
When I think of the question “how did I get here,” I hope my kids end up coming to the same conclusion I keep arriving at. I got here through the love and support of some amazing people trying to make the most of all we have been given.
