“Good” Friday?

As I get older, I am becoming more and more convinced happiness and quality of life is all in the eye of the beholder.  On Friday, I had another example of just how important perspective is when it comes to looking at my day.

I was not having a “good” Friday, regardless of the Christian calendar.  The day began at 3:30 am with a tap and “Daddy, I had a night mare.”  It was the third night in a row I had this wake up call between 3:30 and 4:15.  When my alarm went off at 5:05, I slept right through it until our oldest dog’s kisses woke me.

I made it to work 30 min late after a traffic accident,  I had taken the day before off, and when I got to work I had a half dozen messages about what went wrong while I was out. It turns out there was a reporting error caught at the last possible moment before our data was finalized, but recognition of a problem is not the same as resolving it, and my boss was flying to the other side of the world the next morning needing the results ready for publication.  For added joy, I received a list of what was expected to be done for the job rotation of 2 employees, and it had to be done by close of business on Friday.  By the time I left work, I thought, “Wow, I’m not sure how I made it through today.”

Then on the way home, I got a call from J.  It seems our son started the day with his friend over “making it snow” in our basement by picking all the stuffing our of a couch cushion and throwing it in the air.  After being told in no uncertain terms what a bad idea that was by J, he and his friend went out in our backyard.  There, they proceeded to practice their taekwondo by breaking various parts of the slide and treehouse platform of the swing set.  Needless to say, it will now have to be removed before we move.  In frustration over being yelled at again in front of his friend, he kicked out a support railing on our deck.

Listening to J recount all of this, I realized no matter how much my head hurt from frustrations I had at work, I wasn’t going to place any higher than third on the worst day in the family competition.  As I sat down to dinner with K screaming her head off and J bemoaning how miserable K had been without a nap, I came to realize I might have had the best day in our household.

A couple of hours later, the kids were in bed, the dogs were walked, and I was sitting down watching some TV.  Our family still had 5 people and 5 dogs (with the possibility of the last number going mercifully down in the near future).  We still had a good safe home, and I was still going crash next to my wonderful wife.

Yes, Friday was “good” enough for me.  It’s all about perspective.  Nothing in my day had changed, but I got to realize how “bad” it really was, and it wasn’t very bad at all.  When Sat. came around I got to hear stories from J after she ran a color 5k race where she was pelted by colors.  Of course she came out of it looking great .

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The First 3,652 Days of Marriage (10 Wonderful Years)

Many years ago, in a time unlike today, I began a lucky streak, unbroken to this day.
Many years ago, in a time unlike today, I began a lucky streak, unbroken to this day.

This week, J and I will hit a milestone, our tenth anniversary.   After 3,652 days of marriage, I can still claim to be the lucky one.  I married an awesome woman, a great mom, a good cook, a caring nurse and  my friend.  I managed all of this without running afoul of polygamy laws too. I think about all of this in light of research showing MS patients are 40% more likely to divorce than the general public (already grim odds), and like in so many other topics, I am happy our family embodies the role of the exception.

Every year, I include on an anniversary card my favorite saying, though I know not where it originates,

“Come walk with me.

Stay and grow old with me.

The Best is yet to be.

This I believe.”

I think the reason I have always liked the saying is the way it makes sense in so many orders. In my head, the order is frequently swapped to the point where I don’t even know the “correct” order any more. The only current tense relates to a belief in the bright future.  The future in any order speaks to a vision of a wonderful shared journey.  What more could I ever want than someone with whom to share the good life?

Because it’s our ten year anniversary, I’m happy to be able to bring out my other favorite verse to describe the way I would wish to think about our last 3,652 days and my hopes for tomorrow and all of tomorrows’ tomorrow: .

Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself. will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

      Walt Whitman (end of Song of the Open Road)

Sometimes, the best part of a shared journey is the feeling of having helped those whom we love and admire. K (age 3) pushed A (age 8) up the hill.
Sometimes, the best part of a shared journey is the feeling of having helped those whom we love and admire. K (age 3) pushed A (age 8) up the hill.
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Our Family's Stories of Growing Up

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