Smile

    On the almost too funny for words front, my daughter asked my mother-in-law to smile yesterday while they were sitting at the dinner table having some lunch. Like a good grandma, she smiled even though she had food in her mouth forcing a closed mouth smile. This wouldn’t be anything most of us would think twice about, save for my daughter replying “So it is true. You can’t see a white person’s teeth when they smile. You can see the teeth of a Black person when they smile. See.”  The best part is she is missing her front teeth.

    Of course as soon as the mouthful was swallowed, this belief was shown to be wrong. Still, I find it interesting to watch how my kids define themselves in the world as they look for “alike” and “different” even in our family. In a lot of ways, it seems my family is sociology writ micro with a healthy dose of psychology. Here’s hoping my kids find a place in society they can define themselves and be content.

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Life in Paragraph Form – Why Write?

“Did you call in the prescriptions?”
“Meet me at the doctors like last week? OK, and we want a 10 peace nuggets for the kids to share and they can have my fries. You get whatever you want. Just don’t be late.”
” So what’s next? Are we ahead of schedule?”
“Have you done the performance reviews? Did you enter them into the system?”
“This program took a huge amount of time and resources last time, is there a way we can speed it up or at least make it less manual?”
“Hello this is Accordant Care. I’m calling for …Yes Hi. Do you have a minute? I’d like to go over your medications and just see how you are doing. Have you made any changes?”
“The auditors need to see documentation and are saying this isn’t documented using the correct words to accurately descibe it. I know you told us about it. Will you link your question and the response? thanks.”
“Can you call about this? The bill doesn’t seem right, and they came late.”

Ah home. Finally at last, I’ve reached home for my reward, a kiss and a few hugs before the next round.

“Daddy, can I have some chocolate milk?” (Yes. Oh we’re out. Want regular? )
“Can I play on the Wii after she goes to bed? NOOO? WHY NOT?” thump thump thump stomp stomp stomp. (Surely we can throw a better tantrum. I mean I want to throw one too as you’ve already ensured your sister will stay awake listening to hear if you are playing)
“Daddy, will you read to me?” (I’d love to, but can I sit for jus a moment. OK now is good)
bow wow bow wow. (what about me in dog)
“Do you pay any attention to the kids when the show is on? You seem absorbed.” ( I am. Sorry.)
“Do you see any difference in behavior with this medicine?” (I answer off the cuff, knowing a more reasoned answer will take my mind some more time. A future multitasking job has been set for background thought)

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The above is an exaggeration of a day in the life, as not all of this hits at any one time. It’s more a function of life rarely throwing only one ball at a time. We all live in the world of constant multitasking. If MS has hit any one part of my life the hardest, it’s my ability to multitask. I’m good for 1 or 2 things, but beyond those, my attention is spread thin, often so thin everything falls through. Some days it feel like the number is never less than 4.

But out of this comes the thought, “How cool would it be to live life in paragraph form? If we are really brave we can expand to the classic paper layout with introductions, meat and potatoes, and a conclusion.” Imagine, each segment of our lives could open with summary of the topic at hand. Every topic would have at least three logical parts, and at the end there would be a nice neat summary or a lead into the next subject. How convenient would this be when it comes to drawing conclusions about the total package? Would my life be a masterpiece, or a See Spot Run repeat?

I was thinking about this as I pondered, why do I enjoy the process of writing? I like it because it allows me to look at an event or few events and pull them into a narrative. As the events unfold, there are too many other stimuli often influencing my thoughts or actions at the time. Kids screaming, dogs barking, deadlines, needed medications, tracking work progress and charting out schedule ahead, etc. all make looking at the thought processes too difficult at the time they happen.

Writing gives a chance to enter into a stasis bubble in my mind. Everything on the outside is kept there. Writing forces my mind down a path of deeper questions which may or may not lead me back to where I started. Sometimes however, it points to flaws in logic or to possible other views of the same problems. Some things just aren’t noticeable to me until I take the time to write them out because it’s in writing them my debate training returns, trying to anticipate and answer potential problems with my conclusion.

Perhaps the oddest part for me is most of what I write comes from internal notice of situations, and the most common cause of the arousal of my internal interest is conflict. I find it interesting because as I look back at posts on here, many of them originated from mixed feelings of one sort or another topic often only tangentially related to my post. For example, this post comes from

“Do you pay any attention to the kids when the show is on? You seem absorbed.” ( I am. Sorry.)combined with seconding the advantages of writing on a message board for people with chronic medical conditions. In this post, I guess I excuse my inattention to the conversation by saying I was just following too many things and ended up following none. Sorry.  

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Our Family's Stories of Growing Up

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