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Change Control

PML risk shown in a scatter plot.
PML risk shown in a scatter plot.

It is funny how studying a subject can alter how you think about problem identification and solving. For example, I studied economics in college, and I evaluate many situations and choices from an opportunity cost perspective. If I do this, what am I not able to do? Now I am a project manager, and I routinely look for setting up decision points and metrics by which I will decide whether or not to change and how to change. I look at the strongest part of my management style is a clear but agile change control process.

So when I get involved in a project, the nice part is the defined end-point possibly with decision points along the way. If it is a well planned project, I have various decision points preplanned. Then it is just a question of gathering the information to make the best choice possible. Thinking like this is what started me taking Tysabri.

When I started taking Tysabri, I was flaring frequently and had just been in the hospital for problems swallowing. People who know me are probably sick of the “losing 13 pounds in 6 days when no on Biggest Loser” line. I was having at least two flares a year, and the last one had been on my brain stem. I couldn’t exercise much, and I was miserable. Talking with J, we decided, “Give me five good years over thirty crappy ones.” Over the years, I regained enough balance to run and exercise. I felt more healthy or at least able to fake it well enough to surprise people when they heard I had MS. After five relatively stable years, J and I said the “Give me five good years over thirty crappy ones” mantra still applies.

Now, after eight years on Tysabri, I am back to looking at other treatments. Why? It is not because I am notably flaring. In fact, my progression of symptoms has slowed down to what I always thought aging would be like albeit slightly faster. For that matter, I plan on running a half marathon at Yellowstone this summer.

A couple of years after I started taking Tysabri, a test came out to see if patients have been exposed to the JC virus. Over half of us have been, but for those who have not there is no significant risk of getting the brain infection PML which is the biggest risk factor for those taking Tysabri. I did not want the test because the risk of getting PML, even if positive, was one I was willing to take. Eventually, it was mandated that I take the test so they could track people taking the drug to better understand and quantify the risks. I was positive, but that did not matter in terms of deciding to stay on Tysabri.

Progress is a marvelous thing. As the years have passed, they have refined the test to look at how many antibodies are present. With that information, they are able to assign different categories for the likelihood a patient will develop PML. I have always been OK, as my odds have never gotten worse than my admittedly arbitrary threshold of 1 in 200. That is the mortality rate of chemo recommended to treat the most treatable cancers (recommended if going solely on mortality charts).

However, when looked at over time, my readings are a bit concerning. In July 2014, my reading was 1.10. In three successive tests since then, my count has increased in each to 1.41 in March 2016. Now the accuracy of the tests is something I question, but I admit that is my bias from looking at government stats for a living. I believe everything after the decimal point is suspect. However, each of the successive readings has been higher than the last reading and the trend of multiple readings is something I have a harder time ignoring. This sent me back to look at MS Research Blog for the most recent data I can find.

A few things leap out at me as I review the data. The first is the data only accounts for patients who have taken Tysabri for up to 72 months (6 years). The odds get worse with time on Tysabri, so it seems likely my odds for getting PML are worse than the stated odds for people in my titre tier. The second concern is the big jump in risk between 1.3 and 1.5. Given the risk categories get worse with each titre tier, it seems likely there is no magic number where 1.4999999 is fine, but 1.50 is much riskier. Does my risk really go from 1 in 769 to 1 in 118 with just a tiny bit higher reading (leaving off my questioning the accuracy)? I suspect it follows the trend line between each of the tiers.

Given my time on Tysabri and my reading, I suspect I am nearing my 1 in 200 threshold. However, I feel OK. I like to think of myself making logic based decisions, and I tend to think these decisions are best made before emotion enters. For example, when I buy a stock, I do so only when I can identify selling points high and low. At the high or low point, I have a decision to make on keeping or selling based on what I think my options are at the time with a bias towards getting out. It always seems important to me to set expectations and recognize when they have been met to a “good enough” extent.

The 1 in 200 is supposed to be my decision point with a bias towards getting out based on how my odds are trending. It is just hard to make decisions based on odds when the decision likely involves worsening conditions… they are just less worse than a likely alternative. So pardon me while I take a few months to enjoy the relative calm in my MS, to be thankful for the 8 years of comparatively good health, to research my next steps, and to run because I still can. Deciding to change need not always be instant, and maybe the time to change is what I buy myself by deciding now. That is the point of a change control process, to have in place a set time to change and a method for determining how to change.

However, change control does not make the change and contemplating what it portends easier.

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A Year of Milestones: 2015

Maybe we all need the blind to read to us, especially if they are reading to us about us. (K reading to Scarlet from a book made about Scarlet)
Maybe we all need the blind to read to us, especially if they are reading to us about us. (K reading to Scarlet from a book made about Scarlet)

I have a habit of looking back at the end of a year and taking a moment to think about what was important in the year. Often things which seemed huge at the time seem much smaller with the gentle lapping of time’s waves. Other events which seem trivial loom large as their occurrence warns of an incoming avalanche.

With that said, here are my most salient memories of 2015. I turned 40, and I realized I have had MS symptoms for 10 years. Now just having MS for 10 years doesn’t seem like that big of a deal ten years into it. However, early on when I was dealing with head aches bad enough to make me pull over to the side of the road to puke or could not hold on to a soup cup for long enough to pay for it, my ability to still maintain a full time job and help my wife raise three medically fragile children would have seemed foolishly optimistic. So here I sit at 40 years old and having had ten years with MS, and I am planning to run the Yellowstone half marathon in June. It is my way to “rage against the dying of the light.”

When I think of big events of 2015 for me and my family, the events list start with the adoption of K. She has been with us so long, the formal adoption was almost taken for granted. She has been family almost her entire life, and we take it for granted at this point. Of course that is a sign of the truth of the statement in fact as well as in law that she is family.

For other family events, it is hard to come up with one bigger than the summer family reunion in Arkansas. For me, it is still amazing to see the family bonds strong enough to pull more than 75 people together from all over the world every five years. It feels like living in a story from the fifties because I don’t see or know of many of my friends still having big family reunions. It’s an invitation to be accepted into a family group larger than our nuclear family and close friends. For our kids, how great is it to get to know they are connected to so many people of different cultures who approach things differently? Still better, the family reunion was followed by a week with just uncles, aunts. grandparents and cousins. So their personal net of connections got cast out wide and then pulled back just a little to deepen the ties a bit closer on the family tree. The whole trip was a fascinating time to renew friendships and definitely one of my favorite highlights of the year.

Continuing on the family side, I was also lucky enough to chaperone each of my two oldest on their respective scout camping trips. It may seem silly to rate nights spent laying on the cold ground as highlights, but I enjoyed the time bonding with my kids and watching their interactions with their peers. I figure I am not that far away from a time when my kids will grow apart from me and not want me hanging around. After all, the “cool” dad role has a definite expiration date. So for the time being, I will enjoy the chance to tell stories around the camp fire and laugh as other kids are now old enough to know some of the myths I draw from to craft my stories.

Happy moment of found family 2015
Happy moment of found family 2015

On my work front, 2015 was rewarding, informative and depressing all at once. The project I manage lost 6 of it’s 4 employees during the most hectic part of the schedule before publication. No that is not a misprint or a mistake. We lost the replacements of 2 of the spots as well. When we published in September, there was another project manager and I along with two employees who began April 1st and 2nd. When I say rewarding, it is because we accomplished what most outside our group said could not be done for months leading up to publication. I was lucky to get good employees who quickly grasped what I was trying to teach and then were able to move forward. The depressing part was being given a rating of barely passable performance by new management who never understood what was involved in meeting our publication dates. So they praised us in public for accomplishing what most thought could not be done, and then in private they rated us as low as they could without having to justify the ratings. As a kicker, the other project manager was removed from our area in the weeks following publication. The upside is the rating has reenforced in my mind the need for cultivating an ability to appreciate accomplishments regardless of others’ opinions. I teach it to my kids, and this is just an example where I need to live what I teach.

Thankfully, if my job threatened to make me question my abilities to think critically to work towards a goal, my work with the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) as patient’s advocate has been rewarding. It is fascinating for me to learn how they determine what a doctor should need to know after they have been practicing medicine for years. ABIM then gave me two great recognitions of my input. They extended my term of service on the board as my initial term was expiring, and they asked me to help them on another as they set up a conference promoting patient centered medicine. Not much makes me feel more appreciated than being asked to continue and then asked to do more.

Still, the highlight from a feeling of possibly having an impact on healthcare came when I was asked on a Wednesday afternoon in October if I would present at the FDA on the following Monday. The kicker was I had to have a presentation to them by Friday. Thankfully, the topic of the presentation was REMS: Understanding and Evaluating their Impact on the Health care Delivery System and Patient Access. It was an opportunity for me to talk about risk management from a patient’s perspective because I take a drug with a chance to leave me with a brain infection likely to cripple or kill me if I get it. Talking about numbers and what they mean is the type of conversation I frequently lead at work as we review data, and I had just written about our inability to really conceptualize large numbers. So I wrote up the presentation on Thursday night and gave a quick run through with my coworkers on Friday before submitting. On Monday, I gave my presentation and actually had some applause which shocked me. Having people come up to me for the remaining 2 days referring to me with “you’re the numbers guy right?” was a great shot in the arm. I was even contacted months later by another patient advocate who watched my testimony and was impressed enough to re-watch it before presenting to the FDA at the request of the MS Society. Giving that presentation was a high water mark for feeling my thoughts on our healthcare are respected even if I think they are often given more weight than they deserve.

My theme for this past good year could best be stated, “It feels good to be valued.”

There is a some times shy super hero inside us all. This is one of my favorite pictures from 2015.
There is a some times shy super hero inside us all. This is one of my favorite pictures from 2015.
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