Category Archives: perspective

Family, family life, fatigue, frustration, good life, perspective, Uncategorized

“Good” Friday?

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As I get older, I am becoming more and more convinced happiness and quality of life is all in the eye of the beholder.  On Friday, I had another example of just how important perspective is when it comes to looking at my day.

I was not having a “good” Friday, regardless of the Christian calendar.  The day began at 3:30 am with a tap and “Daddy, I had a night mare.”  It was the third night in a row I had this wake up call between 3:30 and 4:15.  When my alarm went off at 5:05, I slept right through it until our oldest dog’s kisses woke me.

I made it to work 30 min late after a traffic accident,  I had taken the day before off, and when I got to work I had a half dozen messages about what went wrong while I was out. It turns out there was a reporting error caught at the last possible moment before our data was finalized, but recognition of a problem is not the same as resolving it, and my boss was flying to the other side of the world the next morning needing the results ready for publication.  For added joy, I received a list of what was expected to be done for the job rotation of 2 employees, and it had to be done by close of business on Friday.  By the time I left work, I thought, “Wow, I’m not sure how I made it through today.”

Then on the way home, I got a call from J.  It seems our son started the day with his friend over “making it snow” in our basement by picking all the stuffing our of a couch cushion and throwing it in the air.  After being told in no uncertain terms what a bad idea that was by J, he and his friend went out in our backyard.  There, they proceeded to practice their taekwondo by breaking various parts of the slide and treehouse platform of the swing set.  Needless to say, it will now have to be removed before we move.  In frustration over being yelled at again in front of his friend, he kicked out a support railing on our deck.

Listening to J recount all of this, I realized no matter how much my head hurt from frustrations I had at work, I wasn’t going to place any higher than third on the worst day in the family competition.  As I sat down to dinner with K screaming her head off and J bemoaning how miserable K had been without a nap, I came to realize I might have had the best day in our household.

A couple of hours later, the kids were in bed, the dogs were walked, and I was sitting down watching some TV.  Our family still had 5 people and 5 dogs (with the possibility of the last number going mercifully down in the near future).  We still had a good safe home, and I was still going crash next to my wonderful wife.

Yes, Friday was “good” enough for me.  It’s all about perspective.  Nothing in my day had changed, but I got to realize how “bad” it really was, and it wasn’t very bad at all.  When Sat. came around I got to hear stories from J after she ran a color 5k race where she was pelted by colors.  Of course she came out of it looking great .

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inspiration, kids' perspective, life cycle, life with MS, Multiple Sclerosis, perspective, Thanksgiving, Uncategorized

“Why Is the Day So Short? I Want More Time to Play”

20131201_075645“Why is the Day so short? I want more time to play” – O

From the mouths of babes…I told my son these things never change.  I still want more time to play, to bring the ideas in my head out into the sun, to relax, and  to play (yes, I wrote “play” twice because it is that important).  The day this stops is the day I stop living.

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Every Thanksgiving weekend, my high school has a memorial service before an Alumni Basketball game.  Years ago, there was also an alumni soccer game the same day, and I used to make sure I attended the soccer game to play.  While I played both sports, soccer has always been the sport I love.  One year, I stayed to play the basketball game too and attended the service in between the two games. Every year since, I have tried to attend the service if I could.

In the service, every name of all the alumni, all the monks, and all of the teachers who have died are read to receive our prayers.  To hear all of those who have died through the years is to know a community I belong to will know my name after I am gone.  While I am not religious, there seems something very appropriately comforting in belonging to what will last beyond my breaths.  It’s a family.  Maybe that is why this year I noticed for the first time my favorite high school English teacher has his name read twice.  He was both teacher and alumni.  He was also one of the teachers who made me want to write, though it took 15 years for his lessons to sink into my skull and bring me to a point of writing. Thank you Mr. Barret.  I still remember telling him I would never want to write non-fiction, as it is too boring.  He insisted the line between truth and fiction is often merely a matter of perspective.

My conversations with him began a fascination which has lasted my entire life, perspective.

Thank you.

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Since I was diagnosed with MS years ago, I have been asked many times, if I resented all of my dreams and enjoyment I have had to give up due to my multiple sclerosis.  I usually ask them how many things they want to do with their life.  I suspect most of us have a huge list, and many of them we plan to accomplish at some future unknown, unplanned date.

On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the realization on every good day I need to do as many of the things I want to do.  Tomorrow, I may not be as capable.  Having a progressive disease makes me see the time I have left as limited, a perspective I wish other healthy people appreciated.

We never have enough time to play.

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