Category Archives: pain

Fear of Intervention in End of Life Care Decisions

Are there questions no individual acting out of self interest can get to a “most correct answer?”  In healthcare, there seems to be a perception that a centralized health system will make poor end of life decisions.  I think about this and I think about nature.  I know dogs will try to wander off from a pack to die.  I also know we as a people who presumably care deeply about our dogs, take great care of them often providing them with a level of care that would leave most of the world appalled.  So for a thinking exercise, lets look at the dog situation from a few different angles to measure outcomes.
 
If one take the approach of minimizing pain, I think we choose to prevent pain far better than the dog would because the dog doesn’t have the knowledge base from which to base an appraisal of all outcomes.  If I look at length of life considerations, having already made the assumption the pain will be treated, I suspect the dog may want go on a bit longer than some of us are willing to permit.  Without pain or consequences of actions like incontinence, I think our 13 year old dog would sit in bed all day, happy with a head scratch or ten.  He may live for 10 more years.  Are people justified at some point saying it’s not enough of a life for their dog to sit here in a virtual coma?
 
Now on what basis do we make this decision?  Surely, it’s not in the dog’s best interest.  We’re killing him/her.  Is it a question of what is right for the family as a whole, to not spend thousands a year treating a dog and the bed and … for the sake of having a tail wag and a sympathetic look?  Now what if that money, effort, and time spent caring for the old dog could be spent raising puppies or taking care of an elderly neighbor’s dog?  Do the opportunity costs matter?  From the perspective of the family or the neighbor, I think we will eventually end up at a different end point than if we simply stick with the perception of the dog.
 
Now I know many would bristle at the comparison of elder care to dog care.  I use the point not to say they are the same but rather in an effort to try and create a framework for answering the question of whether choices should be made at any level limiting the amount of effort we are willing to put forth to save a life.  If the answer is yes, then we can go back to the dog example to look at how we came to assign a value for one more day of the dog’s life in an effort to create a starting logical framework for evaluating our own end of life choices.  Now, who gets to assign the value?  Is it the dog during the pain treatment regimen who won’t feel the pain, either physical or financial, or is it possible some outside decision maker may do a better job?  Is it the patient who wants the $50k per day treatment shown to increase the average life expectancy by three weeks or an outside decision maker who is in the best position to make a good choice? 
 
If one believes the outside decision maker is best equipped to decide, then the question comes down to whom we pick and on what basis.  Do we pick industry whom we expect to maximize profit or a government run bureaucracy with all its perils and inefficiencies? 
 
I relate a lot of my end of life care questions back to dogs, because I get frustrated that we can put an elderly, very sick, or hurt dog down, but euthanasia is against the law in much of the U.S., and few people ever consider the questions linked.   I get tired because we pay lip service to life without ever asking what makes it valuable.  At least when we take some of the “humanity” out of the argument, I can see some broader frame works immerge to possibly determine what can give life a value.
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Why run?

Why run?  I can write about reasons to write, but why run?
I write about it because I like running.  It’s a throw back to something I was once good at.  When I threw away my trophies from childhood, I did so because I was tired of hauling them from apartment to apartment.  I remember looking at them as I put them in the garbage bin and being surprised because after more than 15 years of soccer and 5 years of basketball, I had more trophies for running than any other activity despite never formally being a part of a running team.  I raced when I could.  I remember running a few home cross country meets before soccer practice with Coach Mike thinking it was a fine thing for conditioning even if it mean being 15 min late for practice. 
 
So here I am now unable to play soccer or basketball well at all.  The coordination just isn’t there to play well.  Still, I can run which wasn’t always the case during the time I’ve had MS.  Early on, the only exercise I did was the rowing machine because when I fell it was only 6 inches.  However, now I can run, and I’ve even managed to cut my time down on 5k runs from just fewer than 11 minutes per mile to fewer than 8.5 min per mile.  But what do I get out of it?
I get to play a game, “run from the effects of my MS.”  Is it a wonder I fell and hit my head on the side walk training for the 15k?  Seems fitting.  On days where that particular game is lost, OK it’s time for a different one, “chase the shape I want to be” or “chase the shape my wife wishes I had.”
I’m not being honest if I claim those are the reasons.  I actually run because I can (same reason I had as a teen), because I don’t know how long I will be able to run, and finally because it feels less bad than not running.  It takes about 2 miles, but after that my calves no longer feel as tight as before the run when they hurt to walk.  Somewhere around mile 2.5 or 3, my hands stop hurting.  It’s usually right around there when my mind stops racing from place to place and goal to goal, and I can find a sort of peace with my body.  I run for those moments of clarity when I really do feel I’ve won the race with my MS if only for the moment. 
On days after finding out my resume didn’t merit an interview, I run from the let down.  Runners high to the rescue!  It’s my emotional safety net or emotional crutch.  Unlike choosing to follow the advice on how to submit my resume, I know there is no wrong way on a run whose sole aim is to reach exhaustion.  Sometimes what I need most is an activity where I can’t fail so long as I make an attempt.  
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