Category Archives: kids’ perspective

Christmas, expectations, kids' imagination, kids' perspective, life with MS, MS, MS fatigue, stress and MS

Rush of Expectations

The hardest part of the holidays is dealing with the perception of there being more which can be expected.  From the time we are children, we look forward to the holidays.  We expect our family to give a little extra.  No matter how much comes our way on a normal basis, we expect more.  In a lot of ways, I think this is the cruelest part of the holidays, that we should be so set up.

As parents, we try ever harder to come up with the perfect gifts for our kids to preserve their enjoyment and create a base of good memories to associate with time spent with family.  Sometimes, the wishes just become laughably extreme.

“A, how exactly do you expect Santa to get the BMW mini under the tree?”

“Well, you told us the story of Jimmy and Jen wanting horses.”   http://thelifewelllived.net/2011/10/07/positives-from-negatives-and-a-christmas-story-2/

Lest one think this is a problem only for kids, I have to admit I too fall victim to expectations game.  With more time off from work coming, I expect to feel better with more rest.  I should know better.  This is not how the game of life is played.  More time off work is more time in a loud home surrounded by excited happy kids, more time trying to meet expectations of family, more time thinking about deadlines I cannot meet at work, more time spent trying…  While holidays mean more of a lot of things, it is rarely more rest.

The problem comes when I try to live everyday doing as much as I can.  By the time the holidays come, I feel like I should do “more,” but there simply is no more.  If there is a change, there is less not more.  Anyone who has had MS for as long as I should know expectations are a fool’s game.  Still, my wish list for the past few Christmases and birthdays remains the same.  My wish list has remained virtually unchanged for longer than I have had MS.

On the funny “For once, I didn’t do it” list for this Christmas is our Christmas card.  Walmart’s card ordering web page is not very clear when it asks for names of family members in the cards.  So when J ordered the cards, she missed the field.  As a result, we got cards with all the right pictures and words until the names part.  I have no idea who Nick, Tami, Emily and Cole are, but I know the card doesn’t have their pictures on it.  We have 50 that match this post’s image, and we are thinking of sending them to people in an effort to find out just how many of us actually read the Christmas cards.  To Walmart’s credit, they replaced the cards for free with our correct information.  It is nice to see some good customer service.
Chistmas card 2013

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inspiration, kids' perspective, life cycle, life with MS, Multiple Sclerosis, perspective, Thanksgiving, Uncategorized

“Why Is the Day So Short? I Want More Time to Play”

20131201_075645“Why is the Day so short? I want more time to play” – O

From the mouths of babes…I told my son these things never change.  I still want more time to play, to bring the ideas in my head out into the sun, to relax, and  to play (yes, I wrote “play” twice because it is that important).  The day this stops is the day I stop living.

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Every Thanksgiving weekend, my high school has a memorial service before an Alumni Basketball game.  Years ago, there was also an alumni soccer game the same day, and I used to make sure I attended the soccer game to play.  While I played both sports, soccer has always been the sport I love.  One year, I stayed to play the basketball game too and attended the service in between the two games. Every year since, I have tried to attend the service if I could.

In the service, every name of all the alumni, all the monks, and all of the teachers who have died are read to receive our prayers.  To hear all of those who have died through the years is to know a community I belong to will know my name after I am gone.  While I am not religious, there seems something very appropriately comforting in belonging to what will last beyond my breaths.  It’s a family.  Maybe that is why this year I noticed for the first time my favorite high school English teacher has his name read twice.  He was both teacher and alumni.  He was also one of the teachers who made me want to write, though it took 15 years for his lessons to sink into my skull and bring me to a point of writing. Thank you Mr. Barret.  I still remember telling him I would never want to write non-fiction, as it is too boring.  He insisted the line between truth and fiction is often merely a matter of perspective.

My conversations with him began a fascination which has lasted my entire life, perspective.

Thank you.

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Since I was diagnosed with MS years ago, I have been asked many times, if I resented all of my dreams and enjoyment I have had to give up due to my multiple sclerosis.  I usually ask them how many things they want to do with their life.  I suspect most of us have a huge list, and many of them we plan to accomplish at some future unknown, unplanned date.

On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the realization on every good day I need to do as many of the things I want to do.  Tomorrow, I may not be as capable.  Having a progressive disease makes me see the time I have left as limited, a perspective I wish other healthy people appreciated.

We never have enough time to play.

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