Category Archives: Family

Family, family life, family time, happy life

Her Inspiration, Our Perspiration

Hands to Work, Hearts to God - A Shaker saying
Hands to Work, Hearts to God – A Shaker saying

It remains astonishing to me how memories from years ago continue to shape my perspective.  A decade ago, I went to visit Shaker Village in KY.  I was struck by how ahead of their time they were on many issues like racial and gender equality.  However, what has stayed with me was the motto “Hands to Work, Hearts to God.”

I thought about this last week when my wife suggested we take turns and shovel the sidewalk to the school.  There is about four tenths of a mile of sidewalk along a four-lane road many of the children at the elementary school walk.  It had not been shoveled on Tuesday when kids went back to school, and after falling a couple of times, A joined the throng of children walking in the road.  My wife and crew joined, but noticed how poorly unsupervised kids walk in one lane and how poorly people drive around the school in their hurry to drop their kids off.  So when I got home, she proposed we shovel the sidewalk in shifts with the other taking care of our kids at home.  As I shoveled, I thought of the Shaker saying. 

I will admit there was a side of me annoyed the school whom we support with our taxes and time along with the community association we support with our dues both passed the buck on shoveling assuming it was the other’s responsibility.  At a certain point, it just needs to be done.  That point was 8:45pm on Tuesday when we finished. 

I will also admit I liked working with my wife.  Her inspiration and our perspiration resulted in a safer path, and I like to think that metaphor fits our family life.  Who knows?  Maybe the memory of parents just making plans to do what needs doing without being asked or paid will stick with my kids.  Maybe they will not think of any one time or incident but rather the pattern.  That would be the ultimate compliment.

On the cool side, A made the local news this week.  We found out when a friend messaged J saying A looked good on the news.  The incident had not made an impression on her, but when we showed her she was thrilled…Of course her excitement was not for being on the news but rather because her “boyfriend” P was on the segment, and she was excited for him.

http://www.abc2news.com/news/education/elementary-school-incorporates-the-arts-in-each-subject-to-nurture-students-creativity

Share
Family, family life, foster care, happy life, parenting, Uncategorized, when kids won't sleep

Another Year in the Rear View Mirror

This is the life we build. It is complicated, but what a ride!
This is the life we build. It is complicated, but what a ride!

I have definitely enjoyed parts of this Christmas even as others have proved difficult.  It has been a Christmas where my mom was able to take J, A, and O to the Nutcracker just like she used to take me every year.  Hearing how much my kids loved the performance is a reminder how much we share and how much we are raising them to be like us (heaven help them).  My family and I have benefited greatly from the generosity of others this Christmas,  and we have been able to celebrate the season as I wish we always could.  We went to the zoo lights at the National Zoo which we all enjoyed, but the Christmas lights show which we enjoyed the most was closer to home: https://www.facebook.com/LightsOnIceCrystal

Every year around New Years, I try to look back on the past year to better appreciate all I’ve done, seen and learned.  In January, we took a family trip to FDR resort in Jamaica which was the most enjoyable family trip I remember.  I hope we can go back again but with K this time.

It’s been a year where A and O learned to ride bikes and read for fun.  In fact, it’s been a year where we have all learned a lot.  For me, I learned how little “privacy” we have (http://thelifewelllived.net/2013/06/10/nana-your-business-my-perception-of-american-privacy/)

My highlights for the year include deciding we will try to adopt K and on a slightly lesser scope, attending a conference at the National Academy of Medicine where I learned about healthcare systems from all over the world. On a personal goals front, I went from being unable to do a single pull-up without help in September to being able to do 5 by my birthday and 7 by the end of the year.

Still, even with all of the great moments and accomplishments of the year, it’s not been a smooth ride.  I sleep less and hurt more.  I make more mistakes and often find myself starting the day saying, “OK, so what have you got in the tank for today?”  A lot of this is the result of strained family dynamics due to medication changes.  With the change to our 6th psychiatrist in 5 years for O and A comes a change in treatment philosophies.  The last doctor thought lack of sleep was the most important symptom to be treated, but the new doctor worries about the interaction of drugs taken for the past 6 months.  Changing everything at Christmas time when sleep is fleeting for excited children has just been painful.  We are all tired, and it feels like starting over with repressions in manners and self control at their lowest points in years.

Despite this, our kids have had some epic fun building roller coasters an Pac-Man adventures, reading and playing games.  I guess there is an advantage to less sleep.  Our imaginations can run wild.

 

Beware the ghosts!
Beware the ghosts!

 

 

Share