Category Archives: Family

child's inventions, Childhood imagination, Family

Leprechauns Welcome Here

How many realities are lost to our growing certainties as we get older?  How many laughs do we forsake.  It’s easy to miss the energy of youth, but more than energy, I miss the ability to live within the happy moments of my imagination behind a rainbow’s shield.

I find myself pondering this as I think back on the joyous, very white snowy St. Patrick’s Day this past Monday.  O was convinced this was the year he would trap the tricky little leprechaun.  It was this seven year old’s get rich quick scheme.  Just think of all the toys which could be bought with a pot of gold to spend!

So with a little help from mom and dad (mostly mom), he built his trap, the Leprechaun Hotel.  He baited it with fake gold coins and marsh mellows from Lucky Charms cereal.  He wrote on the trap, “Leprechauns Welcome.”  Then he went to bed knowing that staying awake might scare off the leprechaun.

Leprichaun hotel

When he woke, he found  the fake gold coins  remained.  He obviously knew what real ones looked and felt like.  The trap had been sliced open, and the marsh mellows taken.  Obviously, he had a sweet tooth.  Both O and his sister, A, laughed long and loud when they discovered the leprechauns had turned the toilet water green.  So when they found out the milk was now green too, they made sure nobody was left sleeping because the hysterical laughter was contagious.

The best part as a parent was watching them go around the house noticing “all the other things the leprechaun had done.”  In their minds, the leprechaun had gone on a rampage of random bumping things down to the ground in the night. You would almost think the leprechaun as clumsy as I am.  Hmmmm

As much fun as I had watching their imagination go, the highlight of my day came later when they helped shovel the sidewalk to their school for 2 hours without complaint.  As a parent, these are the rare moments when I think we just might be getting things mostly right.

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brain injuries, brain training, Family, family life, father son moment, fear, frustration, human brain, kids' imagination, kids' perspective, parenting

Surogate Amygdala Reporting For Duty

I was at a conference over the weekend where the presenter used a term I find fantastic to describe parenting.  She said parents are the young child’s “surrogate amygdala” while we attempt to teach our kids emotional control and how to make good decisions.  Children do not have the capacity to apply what they know about right and wrong to their decision making at the time.
The amigdala is an almond shaped part of the brain in the middle of our temporal lobes, and it plays a central role in our emotional learning.  The amigdala is the part of the brain which determines the prominence of memories which invokes fear and shame or pride and joy.  Not surprisingly, it takes until around the age of 25 for the amigdala to fully develop.
Until then parents must continue to watch their children do crazy things.    I noted she said men typically have larger amygdalae than women.  I know O is the most emotional of our kids by a wide margin which supports this assertion, and J chimed in confirming little boys cry more than little girls.  I guess society teaches us to choke down our emotions and “be a man.”  Still, I can not help but wonder if O’s brain damage as an infant will always leave him more susceptible to the often harshest of his emotions.
J and I will just have to live up to the surrogate roll.  I just hope we can do so teaching him we don’t pee on the carpet at the top of the stairs because it makes our parents angry even if our sister thinks it would be funny.  If we can stop such madness while still allowing the creative freedom of expression and comedy to think of dressing in a wedding dress and a Spiderman mask in order to save the day, then I will judge our surrogacy a success.
Spiderman's wedding dress provides the confusion needed for him to swoop in and save the day.
Spiderman’s wedding dress provides the confusion needed for him to swoop in and save the day.
Still sometimes, I find myself going back to my father-in-law’s words on the hardest part of parenting being “remembering to not get angry with a kid for acting their age.”  Perspective is difficult to maintain when a boy sprays a heating lamp with water and then describes how cool it was to have the light bulb explode.  Of all the dunderheaded things done by our children this week, this was the one I understood the best.  Curiosity can lead to unfortunate results, but at least it’s not malicious.  We all have to learn.  It’s just some things are better learned through logic, asking and stories than personal experimentation.
“Paging Surrogate Amygdala!  You are needed to instill proper fear of eye damage and burned down houses.”
Words of wisdom for patients and parents alike.
Words of wisdom for patients and parents alike.
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