Category Archives: Family

What Does Impulsive Look Like?

"Dad, honest I did not pick up your nasal hair trimmer to attack my eyebrow."
“Dad, honest I did not pick up your nasal hair trimmer to attack my eyebrow.”

​In 36 hours, my son took scissors at school and cut his hair really close to the scalp, tested his scissors that he took home on his pillow case, and tried out my nasal hair trimmer on his eyebrow. It is funny to me when colleagues at work tell me about the trouble their children invent. It makes me realize it is not that my kids do unusual things to find their way through the world. It is that they do so many, so often, and in such rapid fire ways. So my colleagues sometimes look at me like I have some sort of antidote because my kids still live despite having made crazy decisions. If I had that power, do you think my kids would still be making and remaking the same decisions? I mean O has now nut his hair to the scalp three times now at ages 3, 6, and now 8. It’s a good thing he looks good with a shaved head.

This same impulsive behavior that often makes me feel as if my hair is falling out when O is hyper every night at 7:30 to 9, also leads to some very touching, heart felt moments of empathy. Last week after talking about how A could only eat peanut butter sandwiches every day because we had to limit her food, O decided that was all he would make himself for lunch. That way A would not feel alone in not being allowed to have different lunches like her friends have. I think these moments are golden.

I just wish we had a few less moments like last night when O came home from a birthday party A left because she didn’t want to watch everyone else eat pizza and cake. O came home and said, “A, you should have been there. We had pizza and great cake! It was awesome.” I think the head-slap emoticon was meant for those moments.

I wonder how many more generations will enjoy newspaper comics.  I love seeing my kids read for fun.
I wonder how many more generations will enjoy newspaper comics. I love seeing my kids read for fun.

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Control Is But an Illusion

These last few weeks have been crazy. So much has happened, and my energy and time left to write disappeared. Still, these past few weeks have had many highlights.

For starters, O ran the 5k cross country race at my high school with me. He finished in 36 minutes which I thought was remarkable for an 8 year old. He was saddened though when the youngest age group for the awards was expanded from 0-10 to 0-13. He lost out to three 13 year old boys. I told him not to worry because if he can finish the race at 8, just think how easy it will be for him after 5 more years. The accomplishment was finishing, something I struggled with after pulling my hamstring when I tripped on a tree root. Still, I pushed him to finish hard running right beside him. The injury just made running for the rest of the week out of the question.

Without running, I find my ability to focus goes to pot. I find it much harder to get the clarity I need to step back and look at how things work and how I work. My mind depends a lot on exercise.

So maybe it is no surprise that as I have resumed my normal routine of running, I come back to writing, if only to summarize the last few weeks. Of possible interest to some, I wrote the letter to Senator Ben Cardin on the impact of pharmaceutical spending and a suggestion to alleviate some of the problem.
A copy of the letter is here.

The best news came this past week as we were finally cleared to adopt K. She has been with us for most of her life, and soon she will share our name and be assured a place with our family. The lady interviewing me asked if she would be our last adoption. I told her we said yes to that question the last two times. So, no, we don’t intend to adopt again…at this time. However our control of future situations is as imperfect as our ability to see them clearly. This illusion of control of the future is still what allows us needed peace to enjoy the prospect of making K an official permanent member of the family.

The blind K is the happiest kid in our family, and we are oh so lucky to have her with us.
The blind K is the happiest kid in our family, and we are oh so lucky to have her with us.

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