Category Archives: father daughter moment

Miracles Abound, But We Probably Miss Them

If you need to be this close to the TV to see it, you just might be legally blind.  K is, but if she is this close she enjoys watching races.
If you need to be this close to the TV to see it, you just might be legally blind. K is, but if she is this close she enjoys watching races.

Recently, my daughter was made fun of at school and began to feel awkward having a water bottle with her in class. “Dad, when will I be able to stop drinking water during class?  It’s bad enough I fart, but I feel them all looking at me when I drink.” The perils of second grade can be hell on emotional well being.

I told her to remember she is a miracle. She has lived through more than most of them ever will. She needs to remember she has lived through 4 or 5 (depending on how some exploration is counted) heart surgeries to deal with her pulmonary atresia, and she had a stroke. She has been sick enough to die multiple times. She has the scars to prove her courage and toughness.  What’s more, she has bowels which aren’t moving food like they should. So she has a choice, either take the chance given to her by multiple miracles and drink the water or let the stupid things thought by 2nd graders rob her of the life she is lucky enough to live.  I told her she is given a chance so many would love to have, but it’s her resilience which will make the rest of us look to her for inspiration.  Then I had to explain “resilience.”

The irony is I ask her to be tougher than I am all the time. I tell her she and her siblings are my miracle, keeping me alive. We called the school to make sure the teacher is aware what is going on and how dangerous it would be for somebody with her heart condition to become dehydrated. We are debating as she enters a new school after our move next fall whether to schedule a class with her new school to explain disabilities and hers in particular.

It is hard to mention people’s lack of ability to see what others go through without pictures of K.  Of course I find it hard to mention “not seeing” without pictures of her.  There is hard to define justice in the joy I take from “looking” at her looking at the world around her.  I wonder what and how much she sees.  Then I marvel at the speed she chooses to live with reckless abandon.

"OK I see a change in the ground.  I don't know how far, but lets jump."
“OK I see a change in the ground. I don’t know how far, but lets jump.”

On a somewhat related but funny vein, O’s class must have had somebody mention Nazis.  He said he was thinking about them again when he heard about them in the Sound of Music.  Then on Saturday morning, he said, “Dad, I think I know why they were called ‘Nazi.’  I think they could not see the goodness in different people.”  I told him he can be very insightful at times, and I was glad for a morning of the thoughtful O (leaving out the “instead of the grumpy O who usually graces us in the morning”).

Cinco de Mayo, Boy Scout style.
Cinco de Mayo, Boy Scout style.
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“Men Plan. God Laughs.”

It’s been a funny week in terms of my plans and how things worked out.    Everything has turned out positive if not as intended.
As I mentioned in my last post, my wife and I had been married for 3,000 days on July 4th, and yes I am the nerd who figures these things out.  I had a bottle of wine in our liquor cabinet in mind, and I hoped for a nice romantic date night after the kids went to bed.  Since the 3,000 days fell on the fourth of July, I thought I would try for a Jewish tradition of the day begins at sun down not sun up.  So on the night of the 3rd, I thought we would have some private time together after the kids went to bed.  Then I saw on Facebook.  Justin Hines is playing at the Kennedy Center.  Even though O had Taekwondo and wouldn’t be able to go, I knew my daughter would love to see him.
Back in November, Justin Hines came to play a concert at Census to kick off our combined federal campaign.  When he came on stage, I had no idea what his act would be, and when he started talking, I still didn’t know.  Then he started singing, and he is an amazing singer.  I bought his CD and took it home for the kids to listen.  Both were fascinated by the “guy in the wheel chair” and we watched all of his videos on YouTube.  A was ever more entranced by his songs and his story, so when the opportunity came to go and see him, she was as excited as I have ever seen her.  
In truth, there is no way I would rather have spent my 3,000thday of marriage than taking my daughter to a concert which left her crying tears of happiness when he sang her favorite song, “Say What you Will.”  How often can a parent bring their kid to tears of joy?  It is my current favorite of all the father daughter moments we have ever had.

My wife got the necklace but was sleepy by the time I gave it, and to my knowledge has not found the earrings yet.  So, there’s always tomorrow right?  Seems I say that a lot.  The next time came Friday morning after J, A, and O all left to go to a friend’s house in Cape Cod.  They left at 3am, and some time before 5 somebody left the dog below in our back yard with an untied rope.  I posted signs, called animal control to report it found, and walked the neighborhood looking for anyone who recognized it.  Nobody did.  
On Saturday’s morning walk with 4 dogs and K in a stroller, the little newbie took off.  After always walking almost underfoot or controlled with a pinky’s hold on the leash, I was surprised, but I was also hopeful.  Maybe he knew where his home was and was heading there.  I couldn’t give chase with three dogs and a stroller.  However, when I got home, there was a guy from down the street who said this dog was loose and he thought I was the one taking care of it.  I thanked him and took him back inside.  Grrr.  Fate, you raise my hopes…just like my thinking I would be able to go to poker on Monday night.
On Saturday, I got a call saying our dishwasher delivery would not happen Sunday as planned but instead would happen Monday night between 4 and 8.  Poker starts at 7, but there is still hope.  As the installers arrive at 6:30, I think there is still hope because if I leave at 7, I will be there at 7:10 and may still be able to join.  They finished at 7:15.  So I took the dogs for a nice walk and on the walk, we met a nice family who really liked our new dog.  When I told them they could take him if they wanted, I expected a laughing rejection, but they still wanted him.  They are checking, but I have hope yet again that my plans not working out as intended will turn out for the better or even best possible outcome.
Maybe there is a reason men aren’t meant to weave the threads of fate.  We are permitted to plan, even encouraged to do so.  It’s from attempting to live those plans that great things emerge.  However, the great things are seldom exactly as I imagined.  
   
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