Every day as I wake, it seems a battle between two perspectives. I resent having to fight the same fight daily about how I will view my MS today. I am all for self awareness and introspection. I just hate having to send my mind down the same tract to the same emotional boxing match.
In the dark trunks, on the near side is Mr. MonSter. He fights the long fight, rarely going down and never going out. He reminds us the way to boil a frog in a pot with no lid is to warm the water slowly. Towards this end, he opens with jabs of slowly increasing pain. He waits for opportunities to exploit faults in memory to cause cracks in confidence and temperament. If he hit with all of his tools at once, he would be giving up the isolating feeling he brings when nobody believe his opponent is worse than they usually are. He’s always up for the full bout, and his strength only increases as the rounds progress.
In the insanely bright, hurt your eyes green trunks in the far corner is Mr. Perseverance. His fighting style is characterized by a belief in what is done despite being tired one day is the best indicator of what will be possible tomorrow and all of tomorrows’ tomorrows. While many who have fought Mr. MonSter have fought to conserve spoons full of energy to either win in the later rounds or subsequent matches, Mr. Perseverance believe in punching onward taking what opening present themselves now. He is a risk taker with confidence he will be able to withstand any counter punches, and as his name implies, he rarely gives up even in the face of high costs in the near future. His belief in new methods of recovery and increases in fitness allow him to fight ever on.
Who wins? Lately, Mr. Perseverance has won by decision, but the water is slowly getting warmer. Will Mr. Perseverance ever concede one battle to take the time to hop to another pot or will the MonSter win out in the end?
Tune in next time…and the time after that….and the time after that….
In the words of an early 80’s television show, “Same bat channel, same bat time…”