family din, family life, Hindu parable, shout

Quiet Shout

Sometimes, life merits a closer look.  Days may seem hard with mind muddled and hands burning, but it is in these dragging moments that memories are forged, habits made and relationships cemented.  Some days the reward is making it through to a reflection point.  I feel like this has been my life all week, so filled with busy moments, so filled with a clutter of noise to the point of distraction.  I sometimes feel as though my mind is lost by 4pm.  I’ll grant my MS does cause me some trouble sorting through signals amidst the common screams and barking dogs wanting food. 

Then as I am trying to settle the kids down, I get a chance to realize how wonderful it is to see my son sitting by himself reading while my oldest is upstairs playing a card game against with her stuffed animals as an opponent.  As our youngest plays with her birthday present, I finally get a moment to breathe.  While our kids are doing nothing our friends’ kids do not do regularly, I remind J this means our kids are acting normal and at the upper end of normal activity.  They are not acting delayed or stuck to a video screen.  This is what success looks like a brief moment before the storm of bedtime fuss.  MS and other family issues might make such moments hard to achieve, but perhaps they make the normal more remarkable.
 
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A couple of months ago, I ran across a Hindu parable I like more and more with each reading.  I share it because it speaks to a quiet different from the noise in our house.  Note, I don’t think the noise in our house in any way signals a lack of love.  Our house is one of constant noise and not few shouts and barks.  Life for our kids is one with a constant struggle to know love and define what it means for them. Kids know they are loved but test the boundaries as all young do. They test the boundaries between each other, the dogs and their parents, often with loud results.  No doubt, our house could do with taking something away from the lesson in the story, which I suspect is why it speaks to me.
The parable:

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.

‘Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?’

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout.’

‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.’ asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.

Finally, the saint explained,

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‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They do not shout at each other but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’
The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that is all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

He looked at his disciples and said.

‘So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return. They may end up in divorce courts, for instance.’ 

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Finally, because it the week of Halloween, I have to share the bug I found outside while walking one day.  I have no idea what type of bug it is, but it is colored exactly right for the week.  Happy Halloween!

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